Raising Singapore Kids

So it got announced that our fertility rate is at an all time low and we're nowhere close to replacing ourselves. Old news from a new angle. Apparently, only the gahmen is worried while the people go on living their merry lives.

All the stats makes one wonder if we're victims of our success. A few decades it was "Stop at two" with disincentives thrown in to discourage large families. Of course that was a time of economic uncertainty. Then the country took off on a steep curve of growth, and we didn't really stop, apart from small recessionary dips. The gahmen took care of the country's success quite well. We generally got richer and better educated. Things too got pricier. So like most educated folk in pricey cities, we decided to stop with the childbearing. In human geography, we learnt that primitive societies had many kids because infant mortality was high and the farm needed tending. Today, the farm doesn't need hands but brains, a few smart people to run the show.

In cities, cost of raising kids is phenomenally higher because standards of living are higher. (Already, I spend an average of $7 for lunch at Raffles Place when I could do with $4-5 outside of town.) With kids, I've discovered that parents spend loads of cash on diapers, milk and doctors' visits. Go down to the local supermarket and check out the cost of baby products. The mind will boggle at the continual expense. You’ll feels worse when the little monster doesn’t drink up or vomits that precious vitaminised, fortified goodness. Money going down the drain.

Here’s what I figure parents today spend on a kid from age 0 to 3 on a monthly basis (basis, my nephew):
1. Milk - $80
2. Diapers and wash related - $80
3. Food - $100
4. Doctor visits and medicine - $80
5. Extras like educational material and toys - $30
6. Clothes - $30 (they grow so fast!)

That’s $400 a month already and I think I’m being conservative. It doesn’t include cost of electricity, water, furniture damage, insurance, taxi rides and the tons of towels parents need. When the little tike turns 2 or 3, education becomes a financial worry. Kindergartens are expensive and parents worry if their kid is getting into a good kindergarten or not. Some pre-school classes cost upwards of $800 a month. It’s kiasuism that drives the economy, and drives parents mad.

So money is a big, big issue. The next big issue is time. Parents don’t have any. For a comfortable life, both parents generally need to work. They don’t have the time to spend and nurture their kids like earlier generations could. We hire maids and other professionals to assist in child rearing but seriously, it’s not the same thing. The maid my sister’s home taught my nephew to say “Pantat” or backside in Malay. Goodness. Consider paternity leave - does it exist? But can one parent stay and attend to the kid/kids? Can we downsize our expectations and ambitions to make this happen? Some people would go “Then study so hard for what?”. How can we find that balance of time to ensure our kids turn out ok and yet lead a comfortable existence in a city that’s seeing prices climb, the gahmen asking us to boost productivity and the possibility of not being able to retire? It’s all a little crazy, and many it seems don't want to overcomplicate their happy existence with kids. I can understand.

But my nephew makes me want to rush and home and play with him. Yes, a kid can bring joy you cannot imagine plus fears you cannot comprehend. Awesome.

Perhaps we all need to cool it a little. Take time to evaluate what’s really important for this young nation of ours. If we keep importing our citizens, we’ll never achieve a national identity. It’ll be a flux of people, forever. Here to make $ and leave. Sad but think about how true that is.

Perhaps a little socialism will help too. If we need to pay a little more tax so that the government can fund 70% last drawn salaries to both parents to stay home to look after kids (a year for mums, 1 month for dads), why not? How about healthcare and education subsidies? Hard cash and not tax rebates. Real money, not electronic write offs.

Go have a think.

Breakfast Observations

I was overseas on holiday over the weekend and on my last day at the hotel, some unfortunate work-related circumstance had me up at 730am and having breakfast in the hotel restaurant at 8am. Alone, I was given a table for two by a lady who I can only describe as a double for Gloria Arroyo (I was not in the Philippines btw). Her job was to make sure there weren't any strange intruders who could having food on the house. True, someone could walk right in and they'd be none the wiser. (I was asked the day earlier by one of the wait staff what my room number was as I was loitering about the buffet lines with a glass of juice in hand. Suspicious behaviour I guess.).

I did not sit, as usual, and went to check if the nasi lemak served the day before made a reprisal that morning too. Alas no, but there was prata and dhal. Tried it, disappointing.

I sat eating and observing. There were Americans, about 3 of them, middle aged, sitting nearby. They spoke in uncharacteristically hush tones. Then their friends came. It was time to pump up the volume. Hugs, kisses and loud greetings we're used to and find quite annoying. I think it's an announcement of 'i've got friends' thing. You gotta be loud when doing that else no one will know you're not a loser.

There were a few families from China who made their appearance at that hour. I noted that 1) they like to walk and chew their food, and 2) their kids are without sensible manners. I'll elaborate on the second point as the first is a quirk of nature. One kid, of 6-7 years, was holding his heavy ceramic plate at an angle and spilling his carbo-loading all over the place. Another kid, couldn't sit down and was wandering about touching things. He didn't ask politely when his way was blocked but simply pushed through, once even crawling over another diner's chair. Ghastly behaviour that these kids' parents were hardly giving two hoots about. Maybe this one child policy has created psychological complexes we're only going to find out about when these loners start interacting with the world outside China.

I was eyeing a slice of marble cake as my final go at breakfast but declined my instincts last minute. So that was it.