Traffic Driver 2 - Bag Mama And Her Bags

I would like to introduce Bag Mama And Her Bags. Known to most others as Kym or Hse-yin, she had decided to venture into the throes of entrepreneurship with ladies' best friend after diamonds and shoes: bags. Check out the myriad of bags for sale at bagmama.blogspot.com.

Tummy Tickling Signs

On a Tuesday evening, when the rest of the world was still working, a bunch of us gathered at the iShop to buy a Mac. It was a quick affair with beautiful technology and we proceeded to Vilage at the Heeren to fill the tummies. Aah, as the Erdinger made its way down the aesophagus and soon into the bloodstream, enlightenment. I noticed that Vilage kept the unique chalkboard signs of Marche, with a little twist. Inch play with the sausages, sexy thing from Hot Chocolate (you know that song from The Full Monty - "I believe in miracles" "Where you're from, you sexy thing") and the traditional screaming with ice cream. Funneee.



Oh, you have to try the bread and butter pudding. Aiyaiyai.

What The ERP

It was a strange day when the gahmen announced the opening of a portion of the Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway (KPE). We were expecting to cheer the new road that promised to alleviate the daily jams on the other expressways but lo and behold, the KPE was also the harbinger of increased ERP fares. Ay caramba, we simultaneously echoed. (That's funny because I don't drive. Quick laugh).

More gantries in new places, longer operation hours, increased prices - we cringe as the beep happens. Damn the IU.

Well, I believe we are trying to solve the wrong problem. Why do people head into the city in the first place? To work, mister and missus, to work. And with many a place to work in the CBD, the common and not-so-common man has to drive under many an ERP gantry to make it work eight-nine-ish each weekday. So what if the offices decided to move out of the city? That means less cars would need to enter the city. Also business would likely pay less rent for office space. Wouldn't everyone be happier? Someone should remind the gahmen about the regional centres they eagerly introduced some years back. Where are the business and entertainment hubs in Jurong East and Woodlands promised an election or two ago? Tampines has a reasonably successful stint at being a hub of sorts but there is still so much more space to expand. (If anyone noticed, the Novena area is one good example of businesses relocating outside the city.) I want my pimped-up Woodlands now!

Expand and expand now, while the economy is still hot! Get the folks out of the city! Fewer ERPs, more TLC.

You Have Been Warned

bones.jpg
Originally uploaded by gurms

Aww...isn't that nice. The nice folks at BK do tell you that you might choke on some fish bones. I really like their fish burger. Well I got to keep my eyes and let the tongue has got to do a little more feeling around (if you know what I mean...). So besides the Cuicado! Mucho caliente (Spanish because the foam cup might end up in Spanish-speaking countries like Indonesia and Thailand), I really gotta watch my diet.

Up The Volume Before You Click Through

Well it is important to know your IP address. Instead of asking the IT guy who's way too busy configuring the best way to reroute the network traffic so that he can maximise bandwidth for his porn/mp3 downloads, you could go to www.moanmyip.com.

Better yet, go to your bosses's computer, turn the volume to maximum, send him/her the link, and watch some magic happen.

Nope, They Aren't Mine, Them Escalators

It turns out that the escalators at an MRT station may not be the under the privy of the SMRT. Who would ever guess that?

I, the suggestor that I am, sent an email to SMRT about the lack of a permanent down-riding escalator at the Peck Seah St exit at Tanjong Pagar MRT. Those who work in the area will share my pain. Especially after a long day or have too many things to lug down many, many steps. So I did my civic Singaporean duty and sent an email highlighting the impending rise in people traffic on that side of the station over the next year or two (one hotel and the Pinnacles).

Lo and behold, I get a reply from SMRT Corp Comms indicating that it wasn't their problem. It was LTA's. The nice person forwarded my email to LTA feedback, and I await the gahmen's reply.

Someone in my office suggested I go watch a Jack Neo film - Just Follow Lor - and I will be enlightened accordingly.

My Very Own Bruce Lee

I got forwarded this site from a friend, Say Wee. And goodness, what a site - www.papertoys.com. Now you can have your own Bruce Lee or Wrigley Field, U.S. Capitol Building, Mississippi Queen Riverboat, Tyrannosaurus Rex, Frank Lloyd Wright House, Neuschwanstein Castle, Sydney Opera House, White House, World Trade Center Complex, Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, Angkor Wat, Bill Gates' House, Chrysler PT Cruiser and Taj Mahal.

Reasons to abuse the office printer. And make a colleague a paper gift.

How Lucky We Are

Reasons why you are a lucky son of a bitch, you Singaporean:
1. You live in a clean country. The rest of the world isn't that pretty. Singaporeans already complain when they make it halfway across the Causeway. So the next time your friendly neighbourhood cleaner comes around, smile. Old aunty or Bangladeshi, smile, because they are doing you a favour. And say thank you, damnit.

2. We don't have to worry about guns. The whole world is full of them. You see images of gun-totting gangsters in Rio and kids with rifles in Iraq and Nigeria on the news. It may have it hit home to the guys who will remember the first time they pulled the trigger on an M16 or SAR21 in NS. For the rest, the first 15mins of Saving Private Ryan is a good idea of what happens in Baghdad on a daily basis.

3. Corruption isn't a way of life. There are so many places where paying someone off is the only way to get things done. All businessmen in Singapore who have cut the cloth overseas have had to pay someone off some time. It's never fair when its business. But to pay off the police, the postal worker, the carpark guy, the security guard, the local thug so that life is easy isn't a fun way to live. Be thankful for the trust you can place to the folks in power. We may not like all of it, but it sure beats a gahmen that screws things up on a regular basis.

4. We are the only natural disaster. Japan gets a few earthquakes a day (tiny ones that no one really feels. But every now and then, big ones wallop); Manila and Dhaka get flooded on an bi-annual basis; People in south and east Australia are going through a drought that's been around for more than 10 years; Indonesians in Sumatra and Java have volcanoes, earthquakes and tsunamis to contend with; even Hong Kong with all its food and shopping sits on the typhoon corridor. Yes, we have dealt with the Hotel New World collapse, the cable car tragedy, and the hole in Nicoll Highway. All man made though. Raffles made a good choice in selecting this sunny island.

5. Water and electricity. We wouldn't be so comfortable without these two essentials. It's so easy to take these things for granted. Turn the tap, you get flow. But in many parts of the world, people just don't have enough to drink. Life gets really simple then because you don't really tend to live long with little to drink. Flick a switch, the TV, lights, fridge, computer, radio, Xbox, vacuum come on. Imagine all the books you would have to read by candlelight if you didn't have electricity. All 26 volumes of Encyclopedia Brittanica would be so entertaining.

Do this tomorrow - count the number of occasions you use electricity. Then before you sleep at night, imagine what would happen the next day if you didn't have that electricity to use. Life would suck. And it wasn't too long ago when it did.

This is my NDP message. Feel free to add your own commentary.

Here Kitty Kitty

I have met many a cat in my life. Some pussies are affectionate, others are bitter, arrogant animals who simply use me as a food source. All have some kind of human quality to their personalities. Admittedly I am a dog person. I am afraid of playing with cats because they may attack me with not only their teeth but also their claws. That could be why I prefer dogs - I know that the danger comes from a single salivating source. Nonetheless I have to acknowledge these kitties - Oscar, Elliot and Saffy. Previously under the care of Kim, now fed and blogged about by Wendy.

Go visit fastandfurry.blogspot.com.

Traffic Driver 1 - Excess Baggage

Hi. I have a friend Leslie. She makes pretty things like necklaces and bracelets, and sells stuff like bags online. Go visit her store excessbaggage.bravehost.com.

The Internet Is For Porn

When you break up the name of the world's biggest Internet company, what do you get?
GO OGLE
Voila. Came to me on the way to work. Now what was I thinking about?

Reply From Taxi Company

Remember Where Is My Taxi?!?!

I got this reply yesterday:

----------

Dear Mr Singh

I refer to your report lodged on 01 August 2007 and wish to extend sincerest apologies for the unpleasant incident.

We have conducted an investigation and have issued a warning to both drivers for their poor service lapse and for failing to fulfil their radio call booking. They were firmly advised to exercise courtesy and patience to their passenger at all times and should have give a courtesy call to their passenger or the booking centre for assistance promptly to enable the booking centre to assign another taxi to their passenger. They have also been reminded to adhere strictly to the service standards as set out by the company. The complaint have been included in their service record and we will monitor their performance closely.

We will continue to reinforce our communication and training efforts to push up service levels by our drivers. it is our desire that every commuter's experience with our taxi service is pleasant and comfortable. we will not hesitate to discipline errant drivers with proven service lapses.

As a gesture of goodwill, we would like to offer you two complimentary taxi vouchers for your next trip with us. Please provide us your mailing address to enable us to send the vouchers to you.

Once again, we apologise for the inconvenience caused.

Yours sincerely
XXXX XX
Customer Service Officer
Customer Service Centre

----------

Looks like a template. Hmm.

Stiff NDP Joke

I SMSed a bunch of people on August 9 with the patriotic message:
"Majulah Singapura".

I received a reply from a certain Ben:
"My mari kita is working fine".

Oh goawd.

August 9 - Movie, Makan & Mambo

The long overdue watching of the movie-of-the-year took place on 8 August. Hurriedly, 5 persons from my office left at 6pm to make it to Plaza Singapura for the 620pm screening of The Simpsons Movie. You have to love the Simpsons to watch the show. There were countless crazy, humourously noir moments the series is famous for, enhanced for the big screen (more fun poked at politicians and current affairs). There were also the semi-tear jerky bits like when Marge taped over her wedding video to say her goodbyes to Homer. Whoops, did I give that away? Blush.

Post movie, we had dinner at Glutton's Bay at the Esplanade. With big Makansutra signs everywhere, I expected great food. It was so-so self-serviced slowly-dished dishes. It was not easy getting a place to sit as well. Well, the best thing that came out of dinner was that I tried Gong Gong. It is not a reference to a stupid person but a sea snail/slug. Unsure as to how they are prepared, but they arrived shell and all, warm on a plastic plate. They taste like squid, thank goodness. The thrill in eating a Gong Gong is perhaps overshadowed by the physical endeavour in extracting the chewy morsel of rubbery meat from the pretty shell. Now that's man food.

I then went to meet some ex-colleagues at casa de nana, en route to Zouk. Yes, it happened to be my second Mambo of the year, and was planned to be a smashing affair with many people, some older than thought necessary for the Mambo crowd, gyrating to 80s hits and falling over after many a screwdriver. In the end, I was there with Allan. After the queuing in the Velvet line, the ex-colleagues were put off the sign that read "Velvet ticket holders allowed to enter Zouk after 330am". It was then 130am, and they skittled off to sing at a KTV. After all that had to be said and drunk, we got into Mambo at 3am and danced like mad people till 5am. I even ended up being the subject of a bet (Hi Gladys). Prata followed at River Valley. Then home, to bed at 630am.

I woke at 5pm on National Day. Like WTF I thought. The whole day gone, and now NDP by the sea. Well what could I do but settle in front of the TV to watch the 'new' NDP. It was nice to sea our navy in action. Our MPs wore the masks from the goodie bags (so cute). There was one bit where I thought PM Lee was taking out a Toto ticket from the front pocket of his pristine white shirt. There were roller-bladers that fell, live on national TV. Cool. There was a segment with mature Singaporeans being relatively uncoordinated at Taiji, Silat and Yoga. It was a nice change from previous NDPs. Though I do have a few questions:
1. Why weren't the buildings at Raffles Place all dolled up? Free marketing man.
2. The president wasn't singing Majulah Singapura. Hmmm.
3. Are they going to use the stage for other things? Football match? (The commentators mentioned twice that the floating platform was 120m by 80m) (Some numbers stay in my head)

Well, that was it then the midweek holiday. Dinner was prawns in a pepper-potatoes cook up. Nice.

Lessons from KL

Facts and fun aside, there are things you learn everywhere you go. Things about people, those with you and new ones you meet, and places you visit.

1. People can behave differently with their friends and their bfs/gfs.
2. People can be unforgiving when it comes to lofty standards and expectations.
3. Taking charge can be a matter of having the loudest voice.
4. Nice guys can end up last, especially in the last row of a bus. Haha.
5. Not having a partner can mean you end up at the back of a bus.
6. Take the time to get to know people. Under the shell, there could be something interesting.
7. Don't waste time sleeping on holiday. You can do that on the bus or plane home.
8. There's a lot of space in Malaysia, enough to make Singaporeans jealous.
9. Guys use moisturiser. It's ok.
10. People may think you're nuts if you rub your feet in public. Some may foolishly attribute it to race.
11. People may not believe you when you say you have washed your hands. But that's not my problem, eh.
12. Do everything you can on holiday, even if it's picking up a car from someone's house.
13. Laugh in times of crisis. It can help, most times.
14. If you think too hard about not buying something, buy it. It ain't worth sulking over a missed opportunity. You won't know when you're coming back. (Oh my poor recliner in Jatujak)
15. A little escape can do a world of good. Even if it means being sneaky.

Fun Up North - The Run Down

So it's been a while since I posted. I have been busy and lazy. Apologies for fans of my work, ahem.

The August 3rd weekend was spent 400km (index finger pointing) that way in Kuala Lumpur. Organised to celebrate the joy of friendship across employers, we, all 13 of us, packed ourselves into a Nice bus and were soon on the way up. I got the odd seat, at the back, with 3 strangers. It is was not so nice.

Anyway, we arrived at Concorde Hotel at about 1am and were not allowed to sleep. In fact, the trip officer, Ms Lah Moh, took us for a walk to Lor Alor to eat. We walked through the streets like an army lost but hungry. We eventually turned up at Wong Ah Wah, home of amazing barbequed chicken wings and other delights. Supper was now a feast. Burp. Some of us chose to walk the 1-2km back to the hotel, mostly to walk off the recent input and take pictures.

The next day started with breakfast at the hotel. Aiyaiyai, don't you just love Asian hotels which provide a fantastic spread of anything and everything. Ate like a piglet before volunteering to be part of the car crew (KLians with vehicular access and could drive in this city without ending up near Melaka). We returned to the hotel to join the rest at a dimsum lunch at the hotel. Yums, though a tad salty and I didn't have my mango pudding (yes, sacrilegious I know) with expensive fruit juice.

We drove off to One Utama next, megamart of dreams. I bought t-shirts from Factory Outlet and shared ice-cream from Baskin Robbins. The girls got shoes while the men trailed behind. I shared a slice of Strawberry Shortcake from Bakerzin in the car on the way back. After dropping off stuff at the hotel, a toilet break and bit of TV, we took the monorail to Sungai Wang to feast on KFC and shop some more. There was a lot of walking through Bukit Bintang before we ended up at Oversea Restaurant at Jalan Imbi to feast some more. My god, the charsiew. There was pork and saltfish in a claypot to relish, and mutant prawns to munch on.

Hard Rock Cafe was the late night activity. Easy because it was attached to the Concorde. The band was good and came on 3-4 times that night but the people were tired. Little by little, we dozed off back to our beds as the final few saw the glasses kept away and shutters drawn at about 4am.



The next morning began once more with carbo-loading at the hotel breakfast. We checked out and scooted off to KLCC to take pictures, buy more things and eat. Madam Kwan's was it and the Nasi Lemak was a hit. Plus the desserts and the sambals. The curry laksa sucked big time man.

We took too long at the Twin Towers and almost missed our bus ride back. It was an F1 race through the streets, screaming at buses and distracted drivers (no, one driver in particular, haha) to reach the KTM stesen. Nice once again back home. I slept like a log, waking only at Pagoh and seconds before we hit Gelang Patah immigration to the monotonous voice over the coach PA system. Crossing over was a breeze and soon we were having the close-of-event dinner at the Prata Cafe, Evans Road.

Good. The next trip is in the works already.

Where Is My Taxi?!

This is the email I sent to Comfort and Citicab last night after my bad taxi experience last night. Aiyoh, can die.

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Hello. I wish to make a complaint about the extremely poor level of service
I received on the evening of Tuesday 31 July.

At about 1130pm, I called 65521111 to book a taxi for a pick up along the
main road outside Blk XX Tiong Bahru Road. A Citicab taxi, 9759, was
confirmed a few minutes later. About ten minutes, this taxi appeared and
drove past my pick up location. Expecting the driver to make turn back, I
continued to wait. However, there was no sign of the taxi. At about 1145pm,
I called 65521111 to ask if the taxi was on its way back. The operator
apologised and proceeded to book a second taxi for me. A Comfort taxi, 2412,
was confirmed. A little less than 10 minutes later, I received a phone call
with a recorded message that said my taxi had arrived at the pick up
location. Standing at the main road in front of the block, it was clear that
the taxi was nowhere in sight. I waited a few more minutes for the taxi to
arrive. While many other empty taxis drove by, my confirmed taxi did not
appear. I then called 6552111 for the third time and told the operator off.
The operator apologised and I promptly refused to have a third taxi booked.
I eventually flagged a taxi on the street and took that home.

Firstly, I cannot understand why the first taxi, Citicab 9759, did not come
back around to the pick up location. The lighted signage for the block is
very clear and it is very unlikely that the driver did not know where the
pick up point was. At the same time, he/she did not attempt to contact me
through booking operator. This is simple lack of courtesy and bad faith on
the part of the taxi driver. If I can wait for a confirmed booking when
there were many empty taxis going past, I expect the taxi driver to try to
ensure that his part of the obligation.

Secondly, I cannot understand why I received a recorded message indicating
the arrival of the second taxi, Comfort 2412, when it was obviously did not
happen. As the message was automated, I believe that it must be activated by
the taxi driver or booking operator. If the taxi was nearby (not in sight
but apparently nearby since I received the recorded message), why was there
no attempt to contact me?

By time of my third call to the booking hotline, I was upset. I could not
understand how a simple booking can go so wrong. The taxi drivers in the
confirmed bookings were not sincere enough to follow through on their
obligations. Were they lost? Were they unclear on what to do if they could
not meet their passenger? I am not the type of person who would flag a
passing taxi when one has been confirmed in my name. I too have obligations
as a fare-paying passenger. Further, could the booking operator not have
made some difference to the situation? It seems that operators only book
taxis and apologise if anything goes wrong.

What is worse is the amount of time I spent waiting in futility. It took
more than half an hour to get a taxi. I could have been home in that time if
I had been a 'nasty Singaporean' and simply flagged a passing taxi while
waiting for a booking to show up. Already the taxi service in Singapore
receives many brickbats, and this unpleasant event cements the need to
improve the low service standards among Comfort and Citicab taxis.

Thank you

Gurmit Singh
9XXXXXXX

----------

Should I go to my MP about this? I mean it is a serious problem we have here in lalaland. Almost everyone I know has a complaint about taxis and/or taxi drivers. Are they as serious as the dengue mosquito? Should we not take some sort of action to improve the situation? Aiyoh, can die.

If you want to complain, send your emails of torment and rage to feedback@cdgtaxi.com.sg