To Kang Or Not To Kang

Hougang, Sengkang, Yio Chu Kang, Choa Chu Kang, Lim Chu Kang.

Those are the "Kangs" certain people have defined in Singapore. Out of all of them, only Hougang is the least "Sua-kang", the hokkien term for "Mountain river", a reference to a far away place. Far far away. My friends, some of them, have used this term to describe where I lived. When I knew these jokers, I lived in Yishun, already deemed a no-no among the happening types. "It's so far away that the MRT train also take so long to travel from Yio Chu Kang and Khatib.", "It was so long the gap I thought I was lost", and "There were so many trees, I didn't bring my passport." were the sort of remarks made when I announced my address.

Then I moved to Woodlands, as north as north could be on this giant island of ours. (Actually, on the map, Sembawang is more latitudinally north than Woodlands) Anyway, the very name is bad enough. It conjures up images of forest, jungle, animals and wild people roaming about, who hawk VCDs on pavements to lost tourists. In fact, Woodlands is the largest HDB estate in Singapore. All Lego-landed up with apartments to house the landless. The only is up in Singapore, so the HDB estates have had to replace the kampungs and compartmentalise the peasants into blocks of concrete. In the largest of the estates, I lived near Admiralty. I was outcast as the worst heartlander, worthy of treasonous collusion with Malaysians because of my geography. No rides home for you. "Do you know how much patrol it takes to drive up north?" I think I heard once. Being stingy, I usually took the NightRider bus service home. $3.50 got me to bed, as long as I didn't miss my bus stop, which was easy to do after dancing and drinks and being sleepy in a cold bus at 4am.

Now I live in Hougang. Praise the Lord, came the cry from these friends. He has come down to the Earth and closer to the Equator. It used to cost $23 after midnight in a taxi to get home in Woodlands. Now it's $15. Whoopee. The advantage of living closer to the city and its drinking holes. The boring bit is the ride in the KPE, Singapore's most mind-numbing underground expressway. With speeds dictated at a mere 70km/h, taxi drivers are forced to restrain their F1 passions till they exit close to Tampines Road and gun the engine for all its pent-up worth.

Of greater concern to said friends is my next abode. I am looking for a flat. They are afraid I will give in to financial pressures and surrender to the sua-kangs of the north once more. Truth be told, I wish to not be in debt for the rest of my life and living in Yew Tee (close to Choa Chu Kang if you need to ask) would save plenty of pennies. However, fingers crossed, I find a suitable location in my current neck of the woods. I wouldn't mind Sengkang either but one said friend has nightmares of treading into this black hole, having been lost in its many vale-named nooks and crannies for an hour in a car. It was all too much. She now speaks in hushed tones about Sengkang, like one would speak of a psychological trauma that required months of theraphy and bottles of pills/alcohol.

The quest continues nonetheless. Wish me luck.