Ego, Eggo And Cheesecake

I had a choice of a slice of cheesecake or an apple post dinner.

In an unrelated manner, I realized my ego today. Ego is that bit that you don't think about but it drives to do things for yourself, perhaps selfishly. Well mostly in self-interest. It's easy to spot people who are ego-maniacs. Usually loud ones who seems to know everything and perhaps everyone, and in some cases are ridiculously wealthy. I am not any of these things, though I do know quite a bit and bore people with my general knowledge at times. Other times, people sms me to ask how to pronounce 'Tyrwhitt'. Anyway, today I heard an acknowlegdment of my person. It sounds dumb but there it was "gurms from Singapore". And it felt good. Then it didn't anymore. Then it did again, I was smiling to myself. Goodness, I thought and realized it was my ego that made so. It was stroked. Yes, like that puppy getting scratched behind the ear, it felt good. Temporary but good. Yup, ego.

The burst of acknowlegdment made me think about long discussions on existential topics with a friend in Uni and just out of Uni. We talked about ego and how he was affected by what it made him do and what others around did to please their ego. Yes, deep I know but it helps stretch the mind a little when one talks about things that you can't see, touch or feel. The philosophical mind is a powerful one. I remember him repeating what a another friend told him "I have no ego." If you think about it, it's very egoistic for someone to say they have no ego. Go on, think about it. See, makes sense doesn't it. My friend had a habit of knocking the wind of people with his honesty, and he's still at it. Haha, ego checker.

If a person without ego or a diminished sense of personal arrogance really a better person? I dunno. There must be scientists out there who build things to fulfill some internal need for glory. "Haha, I found it! You lose suckers!" I am sure it applies to any profession where one's abilities are tested or there is merit/performance based rewards as the outcome. Does ego make progress? I know greed does. Greed is good for progress/development. But it makes us crazy. Ego plays a part too I guess. Maybe there wouldn't have been so many wars/conflicts or even exploration if early man had his ego checked. Maybe there would be more jungle, 3 billion fewer people, more trees and no Internet. Do winners have big egos? Or do they just play to be? Not to be the best but to just be. Not ego trip but ego trumped. Hmmm.

In yoga, we're asked to not think, just listen and do. It's an attempt not to pre-empt, not to let the ego anticipate. Quieten, listen and do.

Eggo is a brand of waffles I think. Saw the box in NTUC. My nephew told my mum "Let's go NTUC". So cute.

I chose the apple, saving the cheesecake, perhaps half, for breakfast. Oprah says you cna eat anything for breakfast, on a show where she had 1 croissant. One, goodness. Take 3 woman!