Lunchtime Thinking - Hiring People

I think somewhere along the last 2 years I was in a conversation about how hiring is done. This got rekindled today over lunch with an ex-colleague and I think it bears repeating, if not, laughing/pondering over. Applies to big bosses, not small in-between fry.

There are 2 kinds of people at work, two opposites each of intelligence and dilligence - smart, stupid, lazy and hardworking. And usually people aren't just one thing but a combination of both. So we have 4 combinations to classifiy people in the office:
- smart and hardworking
- smart and lazy
- stupid and hardworking
- stupid and lazy

Simple. Now for the diciphering of traits and ambition that will lead to your reasons to hire someone.

Smart and hardworking are great. They know what they are doing and spend time getting things done. Awesome, but because they work so hard, they're trapped in their roles. They mostly become great advisors who churn out 68 page PowerPoints. Love to be asked for their opinions. Moneymakers for their skills and effort, with some leadership potential.

Smart and lazy. Here's a special combination. These guys want the money without the work. They'll put in minimal effort for maximum results. Essentially, they wanna be on top. Late to the work, long lunches, early escapes to the pub. They are go-getters of a different sort. Never happy with paperwork. They are usurpers of power, the silent killers out to get the bosses.

Stupid and hardworking are the workhorses. They get told what to do and they get it done, eventually. There might be some scolding involved but still the end product is good. They make good "slaves". They need to be placated at some level by rewards or perceived privilege maybe once or twice a year. But generally they are happy slogging away.

Stupid and lazy people will destroy your company. Do not hire. They will wreck things and not realise it. Your firm's reputation is meaningless to them and they'll make your photocopier emit smoke and use up all the paper. Do not hire at all cost. Your IT folks might quit as a result of interacting with them.

So in conclusion, and it's a doozy - hire stupid and hardworking people. They have to listen to you, you'll enjoy the power trip/paternalistic love-punish relationship, and they'll get the work done after a few trial runs. The smart and lazy ones are the ones to avoid when hiring a no.2. He/she will be after your cushy chair and will plot your demise from day 2. We all love the smart and hardworking ones and keeping them close is great - they'll love the schmoozing and make you look good. Ta-dah.