It's late on Friday night and I have had too many beers and too much carbo for supper to be sleeping. So while George Michael wails away on Kissing A Fool on the radio, I attend to my much neglected blog.
Twice this evening the issue of slack parenting came up. Well perhaps not slack but more specifically inadequate discipline. I started the day with a tweet on how domestic workers (I Don't Can't Tell You Why by The Eagles is now on) end up carrying the school bags of their employers's kids as they escort the young masters and mistresses to school. A nation of softies I thought were indirectly breeding, inculcating the idea that there would always be someone else around to do the hard work.
Later in the early evening, as my colleagues and I rallied about hastily set up table at Ai Mien Bar at Capitol Tower (cheap beers, not so good service), I happened to end up discussing the way I handle or rather discipline my nephew with a colleague who also has 4 nephews and nieces to contend with. (Eyes Without A Face by Billy Idol is now playing). She expressed that kids these days have changed from running around a restaurant to being glued to a portable device at the table. She remarked that "in her time", the entire family was gathered at the dining table from 6 to 7pm for dinner and conversation. Pretty regimented but it got the meal and necessities settled. No TV, no magazines, no games on iPhones. I replied that kids these days put their energies into the instant entertainment gizmos that promised their growing, hungry brains all the zap and zing they could handled. My colleagues went on to talk about spending time scampering in longkangs and finding spiders among tall grass. (Sting now sings Fragile) Kids today didn't seek these active pursuits, and would rather not sweat while fixated with television or handheld games. What was interesting was the conclusion that parents today, having had lived through tough times and tough love when they were growing up, didn't want to put their kids through such hardship and instead enjoy the best things in life. (It's Gary Moore now, with Still Got The Blues For You) We both agreed that this was not the right thing to do.
Even later in the evening, after more beers and a KIlkenny, this topic was raised among good friends, a couple with a couple of tyrants of their own. They had decided not to over-manja their kids with toys and the like. On trips to the neighbourhood mall, the eldest daughter would bawl and go into hysterics over the many Barbie dolls she could not acquire. (Sway by Michael Buble). Mummy would go to the shop owner to agree with that the dolls in question would be 'kept for purchase later', a secret code for 'yeah, we're not buying anything but my kid is crying so you understand yah'. I went to say my nephew had 30 toys.
Children don't know the value of money. (It's a Carole King song now. One To One) It's out job to teach them. If they're given everything, they won't learn the value of an honest day's work. Or hard labour for that matter. It does them little good to know that each time they cry, they're placated with a gift or toy or ice cream. There's a Bob Dylan song that goes "You can't always get what you want. But you get what you need.". I sing that song to my nephew whenever his whims aren't satisfied. (The end of Oh Very Young by Cat Stevens) (Besame Mucho by somebody. The song has been covered to death)
Trying saying no to your kids and teach them a valuable lesson. Repeat after me "No, you cannot have that toy" "No, you cannot have an ice cream" (Oh Very Young by Cat Stevens) "No, we're not going to the playground". When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Our brains need that challenge of adversity to stay tip top. So your kids will be forced to be creative and find solutions. x Hey they may come up a creative solution to spend their time or perhaps shoplift (you'll must intervene) or give up (please intervene again). (Hello Darlin by Lynn Anderson trails off to Elvis' Ghetto). Don't do your kids a disservice by giving them all you didn't have. They'll be thankful for it later. (Housemartins with Caravan Of Love end this literary spurt)
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