Sunday 10 July 2011

Moving For Kids' Sakes But There's More To It *Wink, wink*

A friend mentioned she's moving to another part of Singapore in a couple of years. The family is strategically re-positioning themselves to ensure their eldest child gets into their school of choice. One half of the married couple is an alumnus and that makes it a shoe-in for the little tyke to be accepted into the 'prestigious' school. The open-inverted commas are my caveat since perceptions of success are relative. Additionally, my friend mentioned that her part of the island had undesirable influences and I assume she wouldn't want her kids mixing with these crowds (plural because she mentioned more than 1 group of residents she wasn't too fond of).

Her responses were a little startling at first but I could understand where she was coming from taking a deeper look at the hows and whys of the matter. If one has the opportunity and the financials to ensure a supposed better life for one's kids, why not? It's natural for parents to want the best for their offspring. The best sometimes means eliminating potential hazards as opposed to providing something.

I am not agreeing completely with her rationale though. In fact it is somewhat disturbing to think that Singapore society was becoming this polarised based on social class and behaviours. It might be inevitable I guess. Just look at the way well-off New Yorkers make fun of New Jersey folk, or even how some Singaporeans think they're better than Malaysians. Her demographic set probably feels the same way (graduate parents). Parents who have studied longer, hold highly-paid jobs and perhaps are more ambitious in life also want their kids to eventually achieve the same. Once again, striking when there's a chance. I know other friends who have shipped out lock, stock and barrel to new homes near to 'good' schools. Property developers blatantly list school names in their ads to draw buyers seeking the close proximity route to getting their kids into these institutions.

Makes we wonder who then sends kids to regular, neighbourhood schools. Less educated residents? Those without clout in better schools? Do better schools have special teachers and methods that give their students an advantage when every kid sits for the same examination? Maybe mixing with average kids leads to nurturing average kids. I remember my dad asking me to hang with the smart kids. Not sure if that worked out as planned.

Singapore is a small, young country but the social strata have clear splits. Problems may come when those who are better well off fail to understand the needs of those at the lower end of the success ladder. Not everyone can be successful, it's sort of a law of nature in human societies. The questions that become relevant are - is the widening gap between the haves and have-nots making for an unstable nation? Are there even locations in Singapore that the well-off avoid because undesirable folks live there, a ghetto or 'slum' perhaps? What happens when well-off folk happen to congregate in a particular neighbourhood? Do they kids all get stressed out together, competing in good schools? (There has to be a 'worst' class in these schools, right? Law of human societies, remember. I'm sure there are deviants lurking about there too. Deviants with money. Hmmm) Do they deserve a greater say in running the country because they pay more taxes? How obliged are they to better circumstances for those who are not so well-off? As usual, most of this burden falls back on the government but there are pitfalls in our policy of meritocracy that the stated law of human societies cannot solve.

Look at how polarized China has become. Rich urban east versus poor rural rest of country, In my view, it's a ticking timebomb of social unrest. I wouldn't want to see the same here but we cannot stop the innate need for something better. We need to temper it with common sense though, and perhaps with a dose of reality and heart. We can't always get what we want.

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