Fit As A Fiddle

I had a medical check up done last month. It was the second medical I had ever done in my 34 years. The first was about 5 years ago? I had been thinking about doing a full medical in a while but I took the step my HR sent an email about an offer from SATA (what to do, I am Singaporean), and I would be able to claim the amount from my company medical plan (what to do, I am Singaporean).

So medical tests require you to give/deposit things - pee, blood and crap. The last item presents several unique trials to those intending to pass a sample to a stranger. As part of the first medical I did, the passed me a plastic test tube with a screwcap. Undoing the screwcap, one finds it is attached to a thin plastic tube with a screw thread design. "When you collect your stool, just plunge this screw into different areas into the stool, ok" - words that will register with you for life. 'Collect my stool'? Goodness. The sales lady said "don't let it touch the water ah". That would contaminate the sample wouldn't it?

This time around I had to go to the SATA office to get the receptacle. Same test tube design but no screw thread. I had a little scoop at the end. Alrighty time to collect some samples.

The most difficult bit was trying to get a sample having starved for the past 12 hours.

I have friends who were physically violated to obtain this very personal sample. The nurse/doctor/stranger stuck an implement into their asses to do the job. Yikes!

Anyways, all went ok. That is until I got my results a few weeks later.

The doctor, seemingly nice lady that she is, passed me a folder with sheets of papers with names of tests and meaningless numbers next to them. She told me my bad cholesterol was a high but not high enough for medication; my BMI was high and I needed to lose weight; and last but not least, my uric acid was high and increased my tendency for gout.

Gout, that was a new one. The cholesterol thing I heard before. Gout, goodness. I was concerned and research was necessary. The uric acid forms crystals between the joints and that's why it hurts. It's a form of arthritis. So it boils to the food I eat. I can't take too much purine. Turns out I need to watch my intake of nuts, legumes, meat and seafood. Now I must cast an evil eye on that big bottle of Skippy in the kitchen. But how do I not succumb to sambal goreng and kacang with ikan bilis at a Malay food stall? Chialat. Indians eat a lot of dahl aka legumes. And it turns out sardines are not good for gout sufferers too. My life is over.

No lah I ain't all miserable. I just have to watch that I don't over do it. At the same time, I realise it's hard to avoid nuts. People with nut allergies in Asia would have died many times over already.

Alrighty then.

Wikipedia on Gout >>