Would You Like 'Hum' In That?

It was a very interesting week at work, primarily because of local politics. Admittedly, it is hardly the case when we talk about the goings-on of government within the hallowed corridors of the office. But this week was special because of Mr Brown.

I received no less than 4 emails and 2 MSN messages pointing me to the hit of the summer - Mr Lee and the 'Mai Hum' song (the NDP remix). And can I pass on the favour here? Yes, please.

Not that Mr Brown ever left the scene but you must conclude with a warmth that can only be propagated by mee siam gravy washing down one's gullet, one that warms the cockles of the heart, that this stroke of techy genius will be remembered for decades, or at least till the next elections.

At the same time, there are issues of the culinary kind to ponder upon. Does our PM not realise that Mee Siam does not have 'hum'? Or did he want to talk about laksa or char kway teow and refrained from mentioning anything spicy and cholesterol-laden, for fear that the wife and the Health Promotion Board might not approve? Or was he referring to 'hiam'? This would be logical conclusion albeit an aural examination of the clearly discernable phonetics would prove that indeed the PM said 'hum'. I can bring him to a really good mee siam stall at Upper Serangoon/MacPherson. Is that an oppposition ward?

Questions fester while the rest of the planet cuts ringtones and makes T-shirt that espouse the gastronomic virtues of cockles.

The Return To Union

This is Say Wee.

Here's a lo-down:

• Just left the uniformed service, the up-in-the-air kind though he did a lot of ground work.
• Spiky hair, as usual. I have not seen him without his hair up. Hmm.
• Drives an Alfa 127. He got it at a great price and traded in his old Subaru. He likes to drive. His Alfa though is giving him problems, electronically.
• Looking for a job now and might be going to work far away. I have dibs on bunking in.
• Likes rum and coke.
• Apparently he cooks now. Mostly to impress girls, he has made fresh squid-ink pasta and cream sauce. I don't know if he has baked or grilled or broiled.
• He was one of the few who could appreciate trance in university. Now he says he's chilling out with acoustic guitars. He droppped me off at Raffles Place while he played Tesla - Love Song. What a song! I stayed rooted till the song ended.

F-Sale

50% + 20% off. Suntec. Go!

Birthday Wheelings And Dealings

This Monday afternoon Cheryl spent an ardously long length of time trying to verbalise the extent of our relationship. In this relationship, we are colleagues, nothing more. She was doing expressing herself because she wanted me to spend more money on her birthday present than I would on presents for other colleagues. This neighbourliness has a price, apparently.

Her birthday is on Jan 8. Mine occurs next month. Let's see whether this "nice neighbour buys expensive gifts" premise is quid pro quo. Or as my friend Wee Han aptly put it after his wedding dinner "What goes around, comes around."

Carolyn Turns 18 (Ahem!)

Happy Birthday!

Everyone meet Carolyn. She went with the FLO.

The Oldies and Newbies

My Uni hall folks and I had a dinner yesterday. Supersixians we are and most of us left school (NTU) about 7 odd years. Some married, some married each other, some had kids, most got jobs, most left their first jobs, some got cars and we all grew up. Dinner was at Vilage at China Square Central, an office building no one remembers. It was a good affair with handshakes, memories and missed friends. Mingle and rekindle.

The most popular item on the menu was sausages and banana waffles. I had mushroom soup, shared mushroom and ham crepes with Mary (she's the one doing the vampire move with the Liling's baby Denise) and topped off the evening with a bread and butter pudding (good!). Oh yes, an half-liter Erdinger was thrown or rather gulped down for good measure.

Thanks for showing up. All those that didn't can look forward to another 6 months down the road. Or Xmas. We'll see.

Retired From Retiring

I was in a taxi on the way home one night after too many hours in the office. The driver turned out to an exitable middle-aged man with an axe to grind with the universe. In general, this man felt that life had screwed him over. Over-the-hill and generally unhappy, he went on yammering about how hard it was to earn a buck in these days of ERP, higher fuel costs, cheaper cars, too many taxis, too few passengers, 'inattentive gahmen and other socio-economic conditions unique to Singapore. This conversation, rather a monologue as my participation was hampered by his vocal prowess, became ingrained in my memory for his following utterance:

'You think you can retire at 65?! You dream ah, you will work until you die! That is what my father told me, and that is what I told my son! This is Singapore way of life.'

Wow! And the more I think about it, the more i realise it could be true. Some bank announced that the average CPF outlay per day for the average retiree is $6.06 a day for somethiing like 25 years. How the f*** do you survive on $6 a day?!

The nail got hammered deeper into consciousness when my mother got the Happy Birthday letter from the CPF board. With the money tied up in the flat, she doesn't have much to bank on for the next few decades of her life. Then there's cost of medicine and healthcare to worry about. Are those alarm bells ringing?

So what is there to do to escape a dire, penniless ending?
- save money now. That's why we have insurance plans that promise us some cash later.
- have kids. Be nice to them and hopefully they'll take you in when ypu're senile and incontinent. Try 3 for the best odds.
- buy 4D when the stars are aligned. Pay attention to cosmic signs and paranormal symbols.
- go do a business. Your job won't last forever and like everyone says 'you ain't indespensible baby' and no one seems to be able to fire the boss. So become one.
- invest smart. Long term gain outweighs the short term influx. Easy to preach, hard to teach.
- move to somewhere cheaper. A smaller flat or a bigger country. I think lots of Singaporeans intend to run off to Thailand when the grey hairs start winning the battle. Sunsets in sonngkhla, cheap, cheap.
- Wendy, my VGF, has put forth another plan. Morbid as it may sound, the solution is death. She wants me to spike her coffee with sleeping pills when she turns 65 or something. Right now, it’s funny. But when you’re 65 with limited savings, a weak constitution, bad knees and anger management issues, taking the quick road to the big Mac in the sky may not seem like a bad idea. Sad but sadly true.

I have reflected my sentiments to a few friends (including Wendy) and one insurance agent. I'll let you know what happened in a few decades.

The End Of The Cold War One

The whole of last week was spent not talking to Cheryl (of the Hottie Lee fame). She had pissed me off two Saturdays at work. It was weird but strangely (even scarily) easy to not make conversation with Lah Moh. Eerie but Virgoan perhaps. We don't like to be wrong unfortunately.

On Monday past, she messages me (ahem...'caves in'?)to have lunch. So we end up having dog rice (what else) and made up in some form or another over roughly cut slivers of char siew, roasted chicken and duck. Then we had a barrel of laughs over everyone else's reaction to our version of US-Russia in the 80s. Then we laughed some more over our petty behaviour and odd follies. Today was a repeat of the Monday's hilarity. Oh dear, will the work ever get done? :) Well so it begins again - the rollicking, frolicking and brawling that is C and G.

I still haven't apologised. MCP? Maybe.

My Favourite Music #001: U2 - The Joshua Tree

I think most of us in this part of the world only got wind of U2 the band when they made it big with this album (yes, they had Boy and The Unforgettable Fire, but hey I was only 12 and Singapore radio was all I had). With Or Without You was the song and my goodness, what an impact it had. Simple lyrics, full of meaning accompanied by stupefying guitar work. I scold people who don't hear out the song completely and advise them to give more respect to the Edge, and that if they can't 'feel' the energy in the closing arrangement, they're better off listening to Britney. Ok, I haven't scolded anyone as yet although I do make a face. The 'cringe' I call it. The 'WTF face' my friends call it.

After 20 years since it was released, I bought The Joshua Tree on CD from ST Music World at Shaw Tower for $12.90.

It is brilliant. 'I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For' still sends shivers. 'Bullet The Blue Sky' is a reminder of too much power/influence in the hands of one country.’ Mothers Of The Disappeared' is a reminder of the pain of having one's children taken away, through conflict, political struggle, by bad people with bad agendas. Bono wails quite a bit on this album. It lends to the desperate, painful air of some songs. It is a moving album if one truly takes the time to understand each song.

Many people wish that U2 would go back these epic times of Irish rock (not that I know many Irish artistes - Enya, Boyzone, Clannad, The Corrs) where music was devoid of electronics, lyrics pregnant with cause and we could see Bono's eyes. Well, all bands go through transitions and a little tête-à-tête with electronica and remixes is inevitable before one realises one's folly. Kidding. How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb was a rebirth wouldn't you say?

If you're wondering, this from Wikipedia - The name Joshua tree was given by a band of Mormons who crossed the Mojave Desert in the mid-19th century. The tree's unique shape reminded them of a Biblical story in which Joshua reaches his hands up to the sky. Here's more fun - Joshua Tree National Park.

Go buy it. Don't pirate-download.

National Idol Day

Yay, National Day. 41 years old we are. Love the fireworks baby.

Today was the first time I sat through the Singapore Idol show on Channel 5. My god. It is a glorified karaoke contest. These wannabes can't really sing. It's not good. In fact, it is quite bad. I think Hady will win. He's the only natural with a nice voice and perfect teeth. Maybe Jasmine and Joakim can do TV - they got the cute thing going on. The rest quite cannot make it.

Singapore Idol is way too commercialised. It's all hype and commercials and advertising and shopping center appearances. Those who can sing aren't too keen to be Mediacorp stooges but the downside is that they aren't getting the publicity they deserve. What happened to all those great singers that belted out the good stuff at the Fat Frog Cafe? How come they didn't join Singapore Idol? They are probably tied down with earning a living. It's a small island with busy people. We're way too busy to have true artisitic talent. And we are stingy too. $2 for a busker? Haha, dream on. Sorry man, we bite the bullet and get a job.

Crappy Movie Idea #001

Imagine This - you get into a Comfort Cab on a normal, busy day, hurling yourself into the backseat with your stuff. You tell the driver your destination and kicks the fume sputterer into gear. You then hear the familiar mechanised voice - "Please put on your seatbelt" that sounds like the an Indian man being mildly electrocuted. "Ok, ok", you respond and click the uncomfortable belt in place.

"Have you brushed your teeth?", goes the voice again. You are suprised at the question and are bemused and afraid at the same time. "Yes I have". "Do you floss?" "Well sometimes" "You should, it's better for your teeth. Look at me, I have no teeth. Har har har." And so it goes. Man and machine. Man and meter. Love, war, circuit boards, gahmen - it's a machine with a lot to say. It was bored, waiting for the right passenger to bring it to life.

Next thing you know it's $8.70 later and your conversation with the machine has come to a close. It weeps, and spews a receipt with hearts and tears.

Development 1 - the machine goes psycho and strangles passenger with seatbelt getting tighter and tighter. Potential weight loss tool.

Development 2 - Passenger knocks out driver, falls in love with machine/meter and the machine dies after after a few hours when power dies out. Or the machine dies from a short circuit when they do a very wet smooch. Boo hoo hoo.

Wazzup In The Mid East?

Two captured soldiers and many bombs/missles/dead people later, we are no closer to resolving anything. It's very sad.

The Qana event got me riled. I shed a few tears when the BBC reported that there were mostly kids who were hiding in that building that got flattened. I was pissed with Israel for doing that. 'We'll protect our citizens at all cost' and all that, but the kids that died had no part in the conflict. Now everyone will remember and their psyche will be ingrained with the memory of this terrible event. And we all can guess what comes next - hate. More hate, more trouble.

Poor Lebanon, caught in the middle of all this, just after picking up the pieces from the earlier Israeli occupation. Maybe they should have been stronger in coming to terms with the Hezbollah. Regardless of religion and status, mothers and fathers should have said 'Hezzies, get out. We don't like Israel and we don't support you either. We wanna raise our children in peace. We wanna prosper in peace. Hezzies get out.'. Bridges have been destroyed, there's no electricity and everyone's running away. It's back to zero for Lebanon, and the rest of the world stands by.

I am not anti-Israeli. I am not pro-Hezzie. I am anti-violence. I know it will hurt many a Muslim if someone said 'Let's forget about Israeil's right to exist and move on.' But seriously, if we want peace in everyone's Chosen Land, then that is what we must do. Every country in the region needs to say no to supporting terrorists, respect boundaries, help Palestine build a viable economy and simply come to terms with current conditions and improve everyone's livelihood. Not all problems are solved with Jihad and bombing raids. And I don't think God, anybody's God, is going to send some fireballs down anytime soon to resolve the crisis.

I think the UN needs to get some balls too. It seems like it's become a kindergarten - toddlers in suits prone to fleeting alliances, broken promises, deaf ears, over-dramatic personalities, inconsequential decisions, too many pee breaks and time-outs.

We need a trump card. Or a fireball. Can the Vulcans please show up?

Many Days Later

Hello hello hello. It has been quite a while since I have put up anything here. I apologize to any fan/fans I may have disappointed or lost in this abhorrent neglect of civic duty.

Sorry lah. I have been terribly busy at work, sometimes into the wee hours. Hence my tiredness and lack of zest and sprightliness are to be blamed. What about on the weekends you ask. Well, all I wanna do on Saturdays and Sundays is vegetate on the couch, eat bad food and enjoy all the TV I had missed over the course of the week. It's true - I am a couch potato and the shape is showing unfortunately.

Sorry lah. I try not to be lazy but I can't help it. After a work day of confusing madness, silly conflicts, deadlines that zoom by, a myriad discussions and meetings and 2 million emails, I think I am allowed some laziness.

Sorry lah, but I shall recap my life over the past weeks:
1. Friends have been reading this blog of mine and comments have been varied. "Funny" has been a common description. Ms Ong, who's preggers with Katie/Justin, says "I'm obsessed with work" since most of my contents are about my colleagues and related issues. That's rather astute don't you think, even borderline psychiatry-ish. Maybe I am fundamentally employment oriented. Shit.

2. A secondary development has been the onset of rumours pertaining to my singlehood, or more accurately, the demise of. The cause of this was my earlier posting on Cheryl Lim Lah Moh. I had to profusely profess my non-interest in my colleague via a Trillian chat window to Mary and Kelvin, the participants on the end of the line.

3. Generally, the past few weeks have set me thinking about priorities. My family versus time versus money versus career versus ambition. It's not easy to come to a decision about what it takes to be happy. This could be a Singapore problem - we're apparently the least happy people in Asia. Someone tell the gahmen and get to launch a campaign that involves free booze, comedy shows (Najip, Norleena and Kumar on the same stage will do it) and NTUC/SMRT/SBS/SCV/ERP discount vouchers. Anyway, the "Q" template is in My Documents *wink* *wink*.


4. My company did a relaunch of itself on our 10th anniversary. It was a declaration of who we are, how we work, what we want to achieve, and what we want others to perceive us as. It was nice for three reasons - it gave me something to think about in terms of my career, it was held on a Monday afternoon, and the best reason, dinner and drinks. Woo hoo. The bad bit was I lost my relaunch freebies, my camera case got stolen, I exacerbated my flu.

A week later, I still have the flu. Cheryl and my other colleague, Serene (office nickname Sex Kitten) stole my camera case and returned it 3 days later. Whoopee! Sniff, sniff.


5. We had an office party last Friday where we said goodbye to the Creative Director. There was food and beverage after. That's when we spent 5 hours playing Jenga and Boggle. Goodness. All that time not doing my work. There will be hell to pay?

That's it. Sian man.